What’s Your Jewish Body Language?

My two oldest daughters with their Maimonides Bnos Chaya High School class visit a teen named Judy in St. Margarets, a pediatric and young adult Nursing facility in Albany.

This time, the nurses suggested they tell her a story or play a game with her. So a classmate of theirs, Chana L. made up a story about Candyland, with vivid descriptions of a raging chocolate river and high up and fluffy cotton-candy clouds, and our girls and the nurses were delighted to see Judy’s (non-verbal) vivid responses, she really lit up at the mention of the chocolate and reached her hand up for the virtual candy-canes.

The girls learned from this about the power of non-verbal communication and body-language, something we may overlook when we take spoken communication for granted. And body-language is a window to the inner state of mind. A person can say they are happy, but their body language may indicate otherwise. Body-language can tell us a lot about a person’s comfort level, interest, concerns and much more. Animals and cartoon characters are two common places where body-language expresses almost everything. 

Body-language is not just body moves. Let me explain with a dance metaphor. I’m no dancer but there are two types of dancing. One is the focused type, with conscious moves and deliberate steps: two steps to the right, one to the left, kick your foot in, wave your hand out. That type of dance is almost like verbal communication. And then there’s that reflexive, unthinking, automatic response such as when people groove or sway to music that they really like, it’s not intentional or deliberate – its almost instinctive, its a reflection of their mood and state of mind.

We’re close to Passover, so here’s a Mitzvah example. Eating Matzah, asking the questions, saying the Haggadah are all more verbal type of focused, specific expression. But reclining at the Seder is more of body-language: how do you feel to be here? are you constrained, uptight and formal, or do you feel chill, relaxed and comfortable? Yes, the Hagaddah tells us to lean at this point or another, so it is kind of scripted, but the inner intent is for us to actually feel that way, naturally, be in that mind set.

So here’s the big question? Yes, we may observe this or that tradition, do this or that Mitzvah… but what does our Jewish body language look like? What does it say?